Freelance blogger, one-man band, internet podcaster – these are all one person jobs, right? From a biological perspective that’s entirely accurate. However, psychologically speaking, that’s not how we make decisions in our lives or engage in creative endeavors like the above-mentioned professions. You, yes you standing there reading this on your smartphone, are only one member of a team I call ‘Team Self’ (TS for short). The rest of the team exists in your head and your conscious brain is just the tip of the iceberg, responsible for interacting with the rest of the world. Maybe you think I’m crazy for saying that. Hell, maybe I am crazy but at least hear me out: You don’t have control over what you feel and when you feel it. You can choose to override those feelings by avoiding them or dissociating, but the source of your feelings will always be there, no matter how deep you try to bury it.
Your Role On Team Self
You may be afraid that if you’re actually operating at the helm of an entire crew of selves you will be pushed aside and won’t have any control over which direction you go. To some extent this is true. I realize more and more every day how much I’m just ‘along for the ride’. People who don’t get to know their inner team but rather act as supreme dictator to their unconscious will invariably feel like they have the least amount of control. But if you open yourself to all possible outcomes and ask your teammates how they feel and what they want, you will find that you have a very important role on the team – you have the role of mediator. The job of a mediator is to consult with his counsel and put forward a unanimous front to the world. Of course, there will be times when the team is in disagreement. Recognizing that even one disconsenting TS member is a large enough issue to necessitate working through the problem until an agreement can be reached. (Sometime I will write a post about the classic film ‘12 Angry Men’.) If it’s not a unanimous decision, overruling the team and taking action will surely have undesirable long-term consequences.
The term ‘unraise’ is not meant to describe rehabilitation for your inner child, it’s meant to describe the process which you yourself must go through to become an effective team member. Chances are as a child you were not allowed to bond with your TS because you would be attacked by your caregivers for doing so. When we embark on the task of unraising ourselves we open up the possibility to connect with our inner team. It’s the only way to unleash their buried potential!
The amazing reversal for me was the idea that I was in fact the childish one, and my inner child was the thoughtful, mature adult.